where are my floaties? Holy flood outside

Well had a great day on the farm yesterday doing farm stuff. If I had a nickel for every time I fed a calf with a bottle, well I would have one nickel. It turns out I do have maternal instincts...with livestock. I fed the little baby with a bottle and it was so precious, I could do that all day long. All precious times must come to an end; it was time to blow some shit up. I was now holding a high powered rifle in my shaky hands, started off with a 22 magnum and quickly graduated to a 300 something or other rifle. I figured I had three goals, don't shoot anyone, don't shoot the truck and don't shoot the dog, if I can manage that, I am golden. It turns out I am an expert marksman, I shot the water bottle with the first shot! And then I blew up a rock (my target) into smithereens, it was so AWESOME! I loved it, I think I missed my calling as a sniper, well it’s never too late I say.

After my goals were successfully reached, we had a quick visit with the parents and then off to the movies. We saw Jack Reacher, excellent movie, it’s a must see! The movie theater out there has two whole movies playing at the same time! It has the old time glam look on the outside, with the lights and titles on the front like in New York, except we are not in New York, we are in Fayetteville, Tennessee, same diff.

Woke up this morning, Will is on the couch, he still has not grasped the severity of the morning rule. We are to ignore me until I have had my cereal. This guy has the nerve to tell me good morning, what a jerk; I quickly snarled and reminded him of the rule. I took my cereal to the bedroom and read my book, ten minutes later I came out with a new attitude and a smile on my face, he will get it one day. Other than that Will and I are getting along splendidly (knock on wood) this whole country living is not for the birds, it’s for me! I love it out there! I get to do my laundry without cleaning other people’s lint out of the lint trap in the public dryer and I have a wide variety of cereal, what else do I need?

Now I am sitting in my apartment hoping to not float away, just watched the Falcon defeat the Seahawks in an extreme nail biter! Nice win Falcons! I went to church for the first time in a few weeks. I wasn’t going to go but then I got a present in the mail from Kathy and I immediately jumped in the shower and off I went. Thanks again Kathy!

I got my Birth Certificate in the mail from my Mom, now I can stop riding dirty and get a legal TN license. Thanks mom, I loved your cute note you wrote. Tell Dad congrats on his beloved Falcons!

 

Shout out!

I would like to extend a big belated birthday shoutout to my good friend Casey! When I wished a her happy birthday yesterday she told me she was going out with Mr.Right Now and not Mr. Wright...I had no idea she was still reading my blog after all this time and it warmed my heart..thanks for keeping up with me girl, it means a lot ..Happy Birthday Love!

hint and you shall receive

Well all of the complaining finally paid off...I got me a raise! After a year and four months of doing 49 jobs I got a little incentive.it feels good! I celebrated by giving back to the homeless on the way to work this morning. I may even upgrade Thursday night dinners from peas in a can to Steamers in a bag..with fake cheese sauce and all!

Will came over last night and I didn't kill him with my cooking, he is still alive and well. I thought the pork chops were a little dry but he said he liked them; I will ignore the two extra glasses of water he drank at dinner. We had a good dinner and a movie night...Bourne Legacy, awesome movie minus Matt Damon.

Tonight I went and met up with Kelly...Kelly the girl I once knew and considered my only friend in the city of Nashville, yep she finally resurfaced. I let her explain the fact that she went into hiding, she hasn’t been cheating on me with other friends, she has just been working a lot and laying low. Ok I can respect that, just letta a girl know next time so I won't be racking my brain trying to figure out how I pissed her off. I let her apologize for making me watch almost every GA game by myself in my apartment...um by myself. So all is good, glad to have my friend back.

Will got me tickets to the Ryman Autorium for my birthday!!! YAY! I only hinted once and bam today we have tickets!!! We get to see Rio Diamond, I mean Diamond Rio, Joe Diffie and Hunter Hays at the oldest venue in Nashville, where all the stars have once performed. I am excited.

This is taking place next Friday the 18th, so my birthday weekend is still up for grabs if Sarah and Janeen want to come in town and surprise me. Sarah and I need to spend our birthday together in Nashville, HINT HINT HINT! I love surprises, especially the hand-me-down Coach wallet I just received in the mail from Sarah and her mom and after cleaning out her closet....thanks girls!! The purse you sent seems high end but I have no idea what it is...clue me in girl. Goodwill Spaz is all about the hand-me-downs

 

Ok nite nite

one more stamp of approval in the bag

So I had a lovely time with Amber and Brandy this past weekend. We pretty much parked our butts around the kitchen counter and talked about everything under the sun for two days. In between chats we went on a field trip to the farm. It was a good way to break up the day. I got to introduce Amber to my farm hunny and we took a tour of his house and then all piled in his truck for a tour of the farm. It was very educational, the girls had lots of questions, Will answered them all very eloquently and I sat quietly and eating it all up. I was so pleased to see them all engaging in steady convo that I barely spoke. The dude has got some knowledge packed nicely in his head, and when he talks he’s like Good Will Farming…ha how you like them apples?? We learned about heifers and cows, their uteruses and the fact that they have four stomachs. We learned the reason behind the dead vultures hanging from the trees acting as scare crows and why you need to have a permit to have an effigy. Oh and I learned a new word...effigy. We learned what chewing cud means and that there are poisonous trees that that the cows need not eat. I learned not to touch a "hot" fence and well no explanation needed besides: No touch Stephanie, hot, no no. We went back to the house after we concluded the informative trail of cow patties and Will, staying true to form, gave all of his groceries away. Freshly slaughtered sausage, summer sausage and pork chops all around. I think Amber scored some BBQ sauce too. Every time I leave Will’s I am leaving with some sort of meat to give away to someone else.

Well now I have been cleaning all evening getting ready for date night. Will is coming over tomorrow and I am cooking the pork chops he gave me. I think I have cooked pork chops once before, shouldn't be a problem. I spent my lunch break trying to get a TN driver’s license, I figure after a year and a half its time. Those bastards want me to produce a birth certificate. Birth Certificate? Can't you see that I am alive and well, that have a GA Driver’s license and speak English? Give me my license! You know I don't keep up with things of that nature! I think that last time I saw my birth certificate was under the tennis ball hopper in the garage of the town home I used to live in with Gary eight years ago. I guess I should probably assume it’s not there anymore, call California and have them ship me one out.

 

Bachelor alert

So the new Bachelor just started.  I am so embarrarassed for the girls trying to make impressions on the new sap of the season. These girls have taken the concept of “You only get one chance to make a first impression” to a whole new level. These girls get to come out of a limo one by one and introduce themselves. We have reached a new kind of sales pitch, one of a desperate single woman with a shot of life in the tabloids.

To the girl who did a back-hand-spring in heels and an evening gown, who did not negotiate the cobble stone properly and who busted her ass in front the Bachelor, I am sorry. To the girl from Nashville who thought it would be a good idea to sing a self-written song about him, I am sorry. To the beautiful girl with one arm, bravo darling bravo. To the girl who had the tie tucked in her prom dress as a symbol of 50 Shades of Grey, thank you. To the girl would put on majestic lipstick to kiss him on the cheek to mark her territory, thank you. To the girl who happened to have a hanky to wipe off the lipstick, thank you. To the girl who had a football who called him in to a huddle, thank you. To the 40-year-old drunk girl from Wisconsin, thank you.  To the fake Italian girl with a death threat from her dad, thank you. To the girl who came out of the limo with a wedding gown and veil....thank you! You all are so desperate and so embarrassing, thank you for the material.

Ok so I really want to talk about the amazing weekend with Amber and Brandy but I cannot until tomorrow.....I gots to go to bed. Thank you

 

slow my roll?

Work is crazy; I am currently training so I can have more job titles under my belt. I am just gonna recreate my business card to say "Spazwell, One-Man-Band Extraordinaire." and call it a day. I am very flattered that they have faith in me to wear all the hats, but at the end of the day I get hat-head, I always forget to bring a brush, so I just end up sitting around looking all strung out. Whatever I can roll with it.

I just made four large pieces of Orange Roughy and it was supposed to be two for dinner and two for tomorrow’s lunch. I ate all four pieces, therefore I suppose I am having croutons for lunch again (sometimes my choices are pretty questionable, four fishes swimming around in my belly is no bueno).

I set up at Workout Challenge for the people in the office, it started today so at least I got my butt up and worked out for once. I fell off the wagon and now I gotta pay for it. It’s really good timing to gain a boyfriend and six pounds at the exact same time. That's right I said boyfriend, I took my Grade A loins off the market, closed up shop on Match.com and I am now one half of a couple. Its about freaking time I say! We have now been dating for 19 days; it was time to make it official, but not Facebook official. He is not on Facebook so I get off on a technicality, haha no dumb “In a Relationship” crap for me. On New Year's Eve Brandy and I made a list of the nicknames from this year who came before the only guy who doesn't get a nickname. Are you ready?
DMAC, Red Flag Same Shirt, Too Short, Cheating Ginger, LOL, Hoover, Quivering Lip Class Ring, Jeffrey Whispers, and Crazypants....just to name a few. Who will all be remembered as great material.

Amber is coming up tomorrow to visit Brandy and me for a last minute girl’s weekend. I must give her some props for pointing out something a little freaky.

The book that I was reading right before I met Will Wright was the book that Amber's Mom, Kathy, sent me, it is titled "Lady in Waiting, How to Become God's Best While Waiting on MR. RIGHT"

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

 

Let's Start this Year off Wright!

Happy New Year everyone!( I think I said enough yesterday but I couldn't let that title go to waste).. I have big plans for this year and I plan on making it a good one! My spirits are high, I feel so very blessed and lucky to be living the life I lead. I want everyone to have the same attitude and feel good about the decisions of 2013. THREE CHEERS for a happy YEAR!!