the "check engine" light is there for a reason

Ok, the past couple of days have been interesting. I talked with Will about breaking it off. I didn't get to tell him in person, he knew something was wrong and he dragged it out of me over the phone. The whole conversation lasted approximately 14 minutes and 22 seconds. The break up talk was a lot like a Nascar Race, short and fast but without any wrecks. I eased him into my thinking as he rounded turn 2 on the short track. He noticed the tires running were low on air so he pulled into the Pit. I told  him that the only way he was gonna get back on track and finish the race was if I put more air in the tires and we are fresh out. He gets out of the car, tells me he understands, he said he would fight for some more air but he is not going to and wishes me well. I told him to take care and he walks off into the sunset holding his red flag.

Well I guess that's a wrap. All in all I had fun, got some great material and learned a lot.

So now I am back in action, got my hair did...it’s now shining bright with blond highlights (first highlights ever, thanks Groupon). Sarah and I started a workout challenge yesterday, so I have the motivation I desperately need. Sarah wants to look smokin hot by July 4th and well so do I. Every 30 days we will have a payout to the winner until July and we are pumped!

All is good and I am excited to see what the next chapter brings, and the next and then the next one after that.

 

back to the market

Life is about 90-day trial periods. My 90-day trial period with Will is up for review and the performance levels are below the expectations given to me in the initial interview. I was told I was going to receive a connection on all levels and since those projections are not developing its time to reevaluate. Will was placed on probation when I had my first discussion with him of meeting my needs. He was unresponsive and very confused. The second discussion led to his suspension (hence me being at home right now and not at the farm) where I was expecting a response on the fact that my needs are not being met. The lack of awareness that changes are imperative are grounds for dismissal, effective Monday evening.  I haven’t told him this yet because I am more nervous about telling Amber and Kathy as they have already planned our wedding; therefore I am grateful to have this blog to hide behind.

I myself have one thing that I can call my own, my personality and I need someone who can feed that personality with a variety of spontaneity, creativity and witty banter. Will is a great guy but not the guy for me. During my review I have witnessed many antics that I was passing off as quirky. When you add up all of these antics it turns into unacceptable childlike behavior. I am dating a man who is living a very very sheltered country life a half a mile from his parents. He knows nothing but his routine and I have become a part of his routine kinda like brushing your teeth and putting on deodorant. He calls me 4 times a day and they are all the same conversation. I have each conversation down packed. We have the morning convo that talks about how we slept the night before. The lunch convo talks about what we are eating and the weather. The after work convo will involve his parents and how the day went which always involves his parents. The night convo talks about wood in the heater, his dog, and going to bed.

His bathroom behavior is off the charts disgusting, I will spare the details but for some reason I am in the loop on everything that takes place while he is going to the bathroom. I need to not know these details, close the door and do your business. The only thing in his kitchen is a huge vat of homemade hot chocolate mix. He doesn’t have groceries ever, he has never cooked, and he won’t even let me cook. He would rather run down to mamas and get a can of beanie weenies. He eats like a cave man when we are out and picks his nose in front of me. He has actually licked his plate at waffle house. Brandy’s 7-year-old even knows better than to not eat with your hands, especially hash browns.

He cries at movies, I’m sorry chic flics. Yes, CRIES, not tearing up but blubbering. When we saw Safe Haven I thought I was gonna have to carry him out of there and give him his binky. He interacts with the people on the movie and I have to tell him to be quiet. I am now becoming a nag always telling him what is appropriate and what is not, I am not his mama. He already has a mama and she is very much a part of his life, one might say he is a mama’s boy. He doesn’t engage in any conversation when it comes to me. No questions are asked and you know that is a hot button. I have a lot to say and I need people to be curious enough about my life to ask me about it. Sometimes I feel like I have to present topics of discussion about my life and he is busy looking at the blister on his finger.  I have brought this to his attention and he looks at me like I have nine heads. He doesn’t get it. I have told him I need to mentally connect with him, and I again he looks at me like I am an alien. I finish his sentences for him all the time cause he can’t get his words out. If I wasn’t a person who could talk to anyone in any situation I would be screwed. We go to his parents’ house and it’s up to me to talk to them. He acts like I am not even there, he doesn’t get any conversations started between me and his parents, he just talks to his dad like I am not there.  He steals their cable; he doesn’t even pay for his own cable. I was able to look passed the pedicures, the Nicholas Spark books,  the chic flics, the crying, the peeing while sitting down (yes he pees sitting down) and  the drinking out of a straw but the fact that he has been ran over (not once but twice) by heavy machinery and was in a vicious fight as a teenager that landed him in the hospital after being kicked in the head multiple times has really impacted his grown up mentality. I am the intellectual one in this scenario and there is something very wrong with this picture. He sings his words when he talks and that is getting very old. He says the word “yay” way too much and these are very petty things but when you add it together with the other stuff it’s a huge problem. I told Sarah and Brandy all of the details the I am sparing you all and the jury is in complete agreement to terminate our future and just stay friends. He has become complaisant and lazy when it comes to our relationship and that is not okay three months in. We should be getting our stride on, not pouting when tell I you to stop blowing your nasty morning breath in my face.

 Ok so now this is a first, I have never dumped anyone, unless you count the time I dropped this guy I was dating in college (Scottdog) off on the side of the road in Ellijay in the middle of nowhere after he was being mean to me. Other than that I have never had a break up talk that was completely one sided. He has no clue I am doing this, in his world everything is grand because I fit into his routine quite nicely. 80 percent of our time together is spent watching a movie, and during a movie you can’t talk unless you are Will and you talk to the characters on the movie. Bottom line is he lives a very sheltered country life and I am the Alfa. I need not be a nagging Alfa; I need someone to open doors for me and take charge. When we go out to dinner, we don’t sit and relax, have a glass of wine, an appetizer and have a conversation. He orders his Dr. Pepper (light on the ice), his bowl of white cheese and chicken quesadilla (no onions) all at once before I have even looked at the menu. It’s like we are on his lunch break, get in and get out. I just know I need more out of my man and its sucks because I am now gonna have to back on the market. Brandy has this wonderful man and she has set the bar very high on boyfriend behavior and I know deep down that I would be settling if I stayed with Will. That is something I swore I would never do, settling is sighing up for a life of misery and that ain’t happening.  My name is Stephanie Baswell, I am a Spaswell with a Gyspy Soul who will keep moving until she is happy happy happy.

tease

I totally wanted to blog last night but had to go have an emergency session with Kelly. She is having a hard time with some stuff and I needed to swoop in and make her laugh for a bit. BUT little did I know I needed to laugh too. I am hardly in a position to give advice since I am currently a wandering around mentally bamboozled. I need to go to work but a little sneak peak at where I am at........Bruno Mars "When I was Your Man"  keeps playing in my head over and over again....

don't poke the bear

I have not one thing to report. I have been very hormonal this week, no one is safe and I am just concentrating on not getting fired. I guessed it would help if I didn't storm out of meetings and tell people what I really think about them. Office politics is not my favorite topic, its a daily struggle and something that I am forced to deal with in corporate America. I  have been trying keep to myself as much as possible this week so I don't say anything I regret and have not been successful. I am way too big for my britches but that is what happens when I act like a garbage disposal and eat everything in sight. I am gonna go back to watching hours and hours of Friday Night Lights (my latest OnDemand find) and try to not become single either.

To sum up, my two goals are to not lose my job and my boyfriend in the same week. I will let you know how that turns out.

productive traffic

I had the best time sitting in traffic today figuring out how to download ringtones. I figured out why I was completely annoyed when people called me and it was because all of my generic ring tones are so annoying. The one that is called “serene tone” was probably created by the person who works for Mattel and has to be in the room where they test the Jack in the Box toy as it plays Pop Goes the Weasel all day long. To him this sound may be serene, but to me it sounds like a bag of cats hanging above my bed when I am trying to sleep. So now I am assigning everyone their own personal ringtone that fits their personality, it’s all very exciting.

I did have a good day though and I got picked out of everyone to go to a golf tourney that the company is sponsoring, well we are sponsoring a hole. Me and the marketing dude get to go play for the day and represent, I am so excited to unchain myself from the desk and be with the upright people for a day!

Good day but nothing much to report, yet. I make it a habit not talk about the people I work with, one day when I retire way in the future, I will dedicate an entire book to the daily office antics and it will be titled....Seriously?

 

hacky wacky

OMG! I just got hacked. I am sitting at my computer, minding my own biz and all of a sudden there is a video of me on my screen! It’s a live video of me sitting in front of my computer!!! My whole computer froze with big red letters across the screen that said my computer has been blocked by the United Stated of America. Wow, don't I feel special. It said I have been watching too much kid porn, geez I can’t get away with anything! Ha. So I am watching myself, I am happy I have a little make-up on and clothes of course, so I bust a couple of Vogue moves just to see what would I would look like if I had my own music video. That was freaky!  It said if I want my computer unlocked I will have to pay $300. $300? Oh ok sure, let me grab my credit card, I think there is 30 cents on it they can have. It said if I try and unlock it myself everything will be deleted. Whatever, stop taking my video you freaks. I took a bunch of pics of me sitting there and texted them to Sarah and Brandy for advice. They didn’t know what to do so I just rolled the dice and turned off my computer. Obviously everything is working since I am typing right now but what in the world just happened? If they can do that when else can then do? Watch me sleep? Walk on my ceiling? Oh wait I already have that going on. So ok that was fun, hoped they liked the shot of me flipping them off before I pressed the power button. Shewy, I gotta go lay down.

 

kid, goat, same thing

This weekend was a hoot. It started off at Brandy's for a girl talk session. She doesn't really read my blog on the reg (she likes to catch up all at once) so stupid me didn't have to tell her that I put her and her new love interest on blast. But I let it slip and she was not at all prepared, so don't make a big deal about it if you talk to her. I did however, talk the lad for 45 minutes as a pre-meet and greet over the phone. He wanted to run a couple of things by me and apparently its very important to get my stamp of approval so he wants to impress me, probably more that he wanted to impress Brandy. I think that is quite awesome. We are all going out to dinner on Saturday, me Brandy, Kevin and Will. I am pretty pumped, so far I like him.

Saturday, Will and I met at his family’s asphalt plant which is off of Wright Way Rd about 30 minutes from his house. Okay so they have a road named after them? I had no idea I was dealing with country royalty. We went to an Agribition, cattle Show and Sell aka cow auction. We pulled in in his big diesel hauling a cattle trailer, we fit wright in. It was my first time listening to people talk faster than the speed of sound yelling into microphones as they auctioned off very expensive livestock. I got to meet some of his friends and the guy we spent the most time with said to Will, “I like you better with her around." Ha I like that round about compliment. Will bought me a T-shirt that says "Farm Living is the Life for Me" I am thinking that that shirt could double as an engagement ring. Ha.

Later we head over to this guy’s house to buy some gates for the farm and I got to hang out with a bunch of goats, I love the goats! I have never actually hung out with goats. They were so friendly and looked up at me with big doe eyes as I petted them. I now know where the term “goatee” comes from, they had actual beards! I got to hold a baby goat and I fell in love with her. I am now dropping not so subtle hints that I must have a goat. I need a goat. I can just picture myself walking it with a leash and taking it to the park in my Camry to play fetch and feed it tin cans. It’s gonna be awesome. Amber wants me to name my kid Amber, I think it’s because it’s the only kid on the horizon and she may not get another shot at a namesake.

Then on Sunday I came home watched a horrible movie and went out to dinner with Kelly. Good weekend.

 

fashion-nota

So I am going to Brandy's tomorrow for a session. She is googly eyed over this guy and I haven’t had a face to face convo. This girl is head over heels for this guy and I am not sure who this smitten kitten is but I intend to find out. She has NEVER been so mushy gushy and its freaking me out.

I do want to interject one small side note about my cousin:

My cousin reads this blog and she is very concerned that my friends don't like her for what she did.  I told her that they would follow my lead on any decisions I make to reconcile our relationship. It’s true that we are trying to mend fences and we are trying to stay on a positive pattern. Everything that happened in the past is so far removed from my current life that it is not a factor. I am letting her back in my life and we will continue to build on the fact that I have forgiven her and forgetting is a work in progress. I hope she does one day decide to come visit me (since she is 2 hours away)and we can get back to a good vibe again. So for all intense and purposes (not intensive purposes) (I never knew I was saying that wrong until I read it in a book) (reading for all intense and purposes does help you not sound stupid) we are moving forward. My life is butterflies and rainbows and for all intense and purposes I intend to keep it that way.

So now I am gonna focus on the fact that all of my clothes suck and I need to make a trip to the Goodwill to get some more garb. My logic on the Goodwill is that someone had to find it stylish in the past so at least I have that going for me when I pick something out. I made one trip to the mall this year and I am still getting crap for what I bought. Its a t-shirt from NY&C and I am pretty sure it’s from the junior section. I bought it on the way to Will's super bowl party and changed in the Kroger while in route. Brandy showed up and told me I looked ridiculous. I am still wearing it and I am still getting the same comments. What in the world is wrong with my fashion sense....how do you get one of those senses? I need more information.

 

Incomplete combustion produces smoke and soot

OMG! Finally! I have been unable to freakin sign in and write a new post since I changed the stupid layout. I finally had to Google myself and find the sign in page that way, whatever I don't know.

Anyhoo, now I gotta remember everything I was going to say. I have been wearing Will's mom's clothes for the past couple of days. She gave me a bunch of her old clothes, wait, now that I just said that out loud, I may need to consult the advisors. Surly there is not that big of a gap in a few decades of fashion? I mean they are almost new, surely crocheted turtle necks and patterned shirt jackets are for all ages…right?

This week has been crazy, I have been trying to squeeze in certification tests in water, fire, and carpet and it’s a lot of information! I am becoming more and more important in my job so I need to be schooled.  It’s about time I stop faking it until I make it and actually know the meaning behind the words I hear and use on a daily basis. If anyone has any questions about the size of smoke particles or the device used to vaporize solvent-based deodorizers, just ask.

I finally feel better, but not 100% still waiting on the fish meds to fully get this crap out of my ears but I have another couple of days to get the full results.

Had a great weekend at the farm. After Will cut off twenty pairs of calf testicles, we went out on the town. Oh and don’t think those balls are gonna go to waste either.  He gave a bowl full of fresh cow nuts to his friend to fry up for him and his wife. They call them Mountain Oysters, not sure if they are an aphrodisiac or not but I do know you dip em in ketchup.

Will treated me to two handfuls of fake nails while he got a pedicure. Fayetteville houses the rudest nail guy in all the land but he was kinda comical. The Soup Nazi on Seinfeld has nothing on this guy. He was all business and did not mind yelling at me a couple of times. After that we are heading to dinner, he asked if I wanted steak or Mexican. “Steak!” I yelled with certainty. I then thanked him for buying my nails, he said, “no problem, you can buy supper.” UM…Mexican! I meant Mexican, no steak I want Mexican, Taco Bell sounds awesome!

I took him to Atlanta a couple weeks ago and got some more approvals from the Decatur crew. I took him to the Highlands for a steak and then to Decatur to throw him to the wolves. There was like ten of us and he did very well. I am not sure he knew that I was going to arm wrestle everyone at the table, but he made conversation with the guys and played pool with random people so I could have my time with my friends. Some folks were out of town on this last minute trip so, yes Meredith, we’ll be back.

We stopped at my parents’ house for lunch on the way to Atlanta and got to hang out with them for a few hours. We had a good time; it was nice to see him with my parents. We took him on a field trip and showed him all the exotic animals that the neighbor has and had a lovely afternoon.

I think it was pretty cool and a good sign that on both trips there and back we didn't turn on the radio once. We just chatted and relaxed the whole 4 hours each way.

This weekend I get to go to my first cattle auction, we are gonna start inserting me in farming situations so I can see if it’s my cup of tea. I am guessing it is.