back to the market

Life is about 90-day trial periods. My 90-day trial period with Will is up for review and the performance levels are below the expectations given to me in the initial interview. I was told I was going to receive a connection on all levels and since those projections are not developing its time to reevaluate. Will was placed on probation when I had my first discussion with him of meeting my needs. He was unresponsive and very confused. The second discussion led to his suspension (hence me being at home right now and not at the farm) where I was expecting a response on the fact that my needs are not being met. The lack of awareness that changes are imperative are grounds for dismissal, effective Monday evening.  I haven’t told him this yet because I am more nervous about telling Amber and Kathy as they have already planned our wedding; therefore I am grateful to have this blog to hide behind.

I myself have one thing that I can call my own, my personality and I need someone who can feed that personality with a variety of spontaneity, creativity and witty banter. Will is a great guy but not the guy for me. During my review I have witnessed many antics that I was passing off as quirky. When you add up all of these antics it turns into unacceptable childlike behavior. I am dating a man who is living a very very sheltered country life a half a mile from his parents. He knows nothing but his routine and I have become a part of his routine kinda like brushing your teeth and putting on deodorant. He calls me 4 times a day and they are all the same conversation. I have each conversation down packed. We have the morning convo that talks about how we slept the night before. The lunch convo talks about what we are eating and the weather. The after work convo will involve his parents and how the day went which always involves his parents. The night convo talks about wood in the heater, his dog, and going to bed.

His bathroom behavior is off the charts disgusting, I will spare the details but for some reason I am in the loop on everything that takes place while he is going to the bathroom. I need to not know these details, close the door and do your business. The only thing in his kitchen is a huge vat of homemade hot chocolate mix. He doesn’t have groceries ever, he has never cooked, and he won’t even let me cook. He would rather run down to mamas and get a can of beanie weenies. He eats like a cave man when we are out and picks his nose in front of me. He has actually licked his plate at waffle house. Brandy’s 7-year-old even knows better than to not eat with your hands, especially hash browns.

He cries at movies, I’m sorry chic flics. Yes, CRIES, not tearing up but blubbering. When we saw Safe Haven I thought I was gonna have to carry him out of there and give him his binky. He interacts with the people on the movie and I have to tell him to be quiet. I am now becoming a nag always telling him what is appropriate and what is not, I am not his mama. He already has a mama and she is very much a part of his life, one might say he is a mama’s boy. He doesn’t engage in any conversation when it comes to me. No questions are asked and you know that is a hot button. I have a lot to say and I need people to be curious enough about my life to ask me about it. Sometimes I feel like I have to present topics of discussion about my life and he is busy looking at the blister on his finger.  I have brought this to his attention and he looks at me like I have nine heads. He doesn’t get it. I have told him I need to mentally connect with him, and I again he looks at me like I am an alien. I finish his sentences for him all the time cause he can’t get his words out. If I wasn’t a person who could talk to anyone in any situation I would be screwed. We go to his parents’ house and it’s up to me to talk to them. He acts like I am not even there, he doesn’t get any conversations started between me and his parents, he just talks to his dad like I am not there.  He steals their cable; he doesn’t even pay for his own cable. I was able to look passed the pedicures, the Nicholas Spark books,  the chic flics, the crying, the peeing while sitting down (yes he pees sitting down) and  the drinking out of a straw but the fact that he has been ran over (not once but twice) by heavy machinery and was in a vicious fight as a teenager that landed him in the hospital after being kicked in the head multiple times has really impacted his grown up mentality. I am the intellectual one in this scenario and there is something very wrong with this picture. He sings his words when he talks and that is getting very old. He says the word “yay” way too much and these are very petty things but when you add it together with the other stuff it’s a huge problem. I told Sarah and Brandy all of the details the I am sparing you all and the jury is in complete agreement to terminate our future and just stay friends. He has become complaisant and lazy when it comes to our relationship and that is not okay three months in. We should be getting our stride on, not pouting when tell I you to stop blowing your nasty morning breath in my face.

 Ok so now this is a first, I have never dumped anyone, unless you count the time I dropped this guy I was dating in college (Scottdog) off on the side of the road in Ellijay in the middle of nowhere after he was being mean to me. Other than that I have never had a break up talk that was completely one sided. He has no clue I am doing this, in his world everything is grand because I fit into his routine quite nicely. 80 percent of our time together is spent watching a movie, and during a movie you can’t talk unless you are Will and you talk to the characters on the movie. Bottom line is he lives a very sheltered country life and I am the Alfa. I need not be a nagging Alfa; I need someone to open doors for me and take charge. When we go out to dinner, we don’t sit and relax, have a glass of wine, an appetizer and have a conversation. He orders his Dr. Pepper (light on the ice), his bowl of white cheese and chicken quesadilla (no onions) all at once before I have even looked at the menu. It’s like we are on his lunch break, get in and get out. I just know I need more out of my man and its sucks because I am now gonna have to back on the market. Brandy has this wonderful man and she has set the bar very high on boyfriend behavior and I know deep down that I would be settling if I stayed with Will. That is something I swore I would never do, settling is sighing up for a life of misery and that ain’t happening.  My name is Stephanie Baswell, I am a Spaswell with a Gyspy Soul who will keep moving until she is happy happy happy.