90 days to go!!!

Its confrontation week this week, starring yours truly! The night before last, I find myself and 2 old hags in a full blown argument one street down from mine. I am on a walk with one of the dogs and he hikes his leg on a fire hydrant. This lady comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at me, “Your dog better not be going to bathroom in my yard!” He’s not. “I just saw him.” He peed on a fire hydrant which is aloud, its public property and that’s what it’s there for! “I pay taxes on that fire hydrant!” So does everyone lady and this sidewalk we are walking on is also public property that we all pay taxes on! Then her life partner whizzes around the corner shakin her finger at me, “Don’t let that dog go to the bathroom in this yard!” He’s not, calm down!!!!! He is not even in your yard!!! “Well dogs do it all the time and your dog is no different.” Whatever lady. “I’ll take a picture and have the city come pick him up!” Go right ahead; take as many pictures as you want!!! “Don’t talk to me like that!!” You don’t talk to me like that! “That’s it I gonna go get my camera and I am coming after him!!” Ok bye! And I just walk off. Today, once again, minding my own business, sitting in car in the Wal-Mart parking lot and this lady’s shopping cart just comes barreling over and hits my car. This lady looks directly at me, walks over and rolls it away without saying a word. I jump out of my car and ask her if she saw her cart hit my car. “Yea”, she said expressionless. Were you not going to say anything? She said, “No, it wasn’t my fault, it was the winds fault,” Oh ok well you could at least apologize on the wind’s behalf! How bout I take this cart and slam it in to your car and blame it on the wind?! Would you like that??!! She just gets in her car drives off while I proceed to call her a rude bitch. I mean seriously, what is wrong with people??!! I know if I do something I am going to take responsibility for it. Like the time I am cleaning out the fridge and I have a huge bowl of pasta that we can’t seem to put a dent in. It’s an entire box of plain elbow pasta. Wood hates wasting food so in my attempt to hide the fact that I am tossing like 5 lbs. of pasta I pour in down the disposal. Well the damn thing was not built for this sorta magnitude of starch so its spinning its wheels but nothing is happening like half way through the pile. The drain clogs and there is a pile and of shredded pasta in the disposal that is not going anywhere. Crap! Brandy is heading over shortly and I promised her I would cook for her and so far I haven’t even made it to the store yet. So while Wood is outside cutting grass I figured I had time to run the store, get my food, race back, get the food going and then work on my drain problem. When I am at the store, Wood calls me to see what the heck is going on and why did I leave the sink clogged. “Did you leave to get draino?” he asks. Um no. “Well what happened?” I put some pasta down the disposal. “The whole bowl?!!” No no no, just some, I put most of it the trash. I get home and both sinks are clogged, water is leaking under the sink, the floor is wet, Wood has removed everything from under the sink and I know I in trouble. I play innocent as he dismantles the P-trap, he looks at me and I am so busted! The pipes are jam packed with shredded pasta. Damnit! I got busted fibbing and wasting food! All the while his beloved Titans are starting and I still haven’t started cooking and the kitchen is now a disaster. He got the sink unclogged; now it leaks and we need to get a new disposal. That’s what gets for lying and not taking responsibility, I may as well have slammed my grocery cart into someone’s car and blamed it on a little kid. Hopefully my karma is gonna get back on track, I am having a baby exactly 3 months from today!!!

24 down....16 to go!

Whole new dynamic this football season.  We got this guy who could care less about “amateur football” aka college football and a girl who is an obnoxious Georiga fan. We have super duper  die hard Titans fan and a girl who is now second guessing her Steeler loyalty. I so found out that being a Steeler fan is no longer a fun thing. They played against each other last week and I got sent to my room after cheering on the very first play. He HATES the Steelers and not in a jokey jokey way like either.  I told him to stop being a baby but that didn’t help. So I let him have his Titans (since he has “been with them since they were born”) I kept my mouth shut and yes eventually made my way to the bedroom.  Actually any excuse to lay in my bed on a Sunday and watch TV is not necessarily a punishment. We made a deal, I can hoot and holler as loud as I want with the Dawgs (even if they are beating the pants off TN) if I don’t wear any Steeler garb in the house, actually all my Steeler garb has to go in the trunk of my car. I am still trying to figure out if this battle is worth fighting, I guess I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.

I announced I was retiring from walking the dogs cause they are getting to be too strong for me and my current state. Wood instead showed me the proper way to walk them so I would have more control and they won’t pull me anymore. The new tactic worked the first time I used it, both dogs were walking side by side on my right side, Quarter (the rotty) fell behind a little but that’s normal cause he is older and I was concentrating so hard on keeping Whitey under control and a keeping up with his pace, I didn’t notice that Quarter had gotten out of his collar and was like 50 yards behind trying to keep up. Holy crap! I seriously had no idea that we left a man behind. Poor Quarter, I was laughing out loud for like two to four blocks.

Jesse is doing all kinds of flips inside my tummy on a regular basis, it’s a daily all day occurrence which is cool that way I know things are ok. I went to the doc on Tuesday just to find out that I had gained 10 lbs. in 3 weeks!!! (I am up 43 lbs. total) seeing these types of numbers on the scale is truly blowing my mind. The doc asked if I was eating junk…Uh heck yea, I was told this is the time to indulge so that is what I am doing, along with healthy stuff of course. I told her after each meal I like to have dessert; she suggested dessert maybe once a week. Ok well I think my definition of dessert is about to change. Donuts are not a dessert; they are a mid-morning snack between my second breakfast and my first lunch.

I wanna give a long overdue thank you to my pal Sarah for the CUTIE CUTIE onsies!!! I can’t wait for Jesse to try them on, thanks girl. We are gonna go pick out paint colors today for the nursery!! YAY! Wood wants it “Interstate Battery” green and have posters of NASCAR crashes on the wall. I guess he will be staying up nights to comfort Jesse and his nightmares.

kick me its kick off time!!!

I am seriously going to start counting how many times I go to the bathroom a day, it’s gotta be record breaking. Lately I will literally be walking out of the bathroom ready to make a U-turn back in, where is all this coming from?

Anyway.....finally College Football is here, something to look forward to on the weekends! I am not sure who is more excited Me or Baby Jesse?! I am guessing the Baby Branch is all kinds of pumped about the Dawgs kickoff tonight since he just kicked me for the first time!!! I was lying in bed when it happened and it freaked me out! Everyone says that it will really hit me that I have a human growing inside of me when your baby starts to kick; well I am not sure if I still believe it. Brandy said I needed to start working towards believing it since it’s happening in 4 months! The only thing I know is I have fat cankles flowing over my ankle socks, it’s all very sexy.

So I decided after many people asking me, "Have you and Wood dropped the L bomb?" “Um no, we don't want to rush it” I always say. I decided it was time and my approach was cuter in my head. I made him a heart shaped chocolate on chocolate cake with red hots spelling out I Love You on top. He got home from work and I told him to turn around that I had a surprise. He turned around and his first words were, “Where did you find a heart shaped pan?" Did you make yourself a chocolate cake?”  “Um yes, but what about what it says on the cake?” Aw I love you too he says. Um you sure about that? He was a little put off since he knows I know he hates sweets especially chocolate on chocolate.  He claims if he has to eat cake he is a white cake supremacist. He said if I would have put it on some fried chicken that would have been awesome. He said it’s like I don't know him at all. I put the cake away, didn't touch it, and went to bed crying (secretly crying). It was a big fat fail. He had no idea that I was nervous about it and that was the first cake I think I’ve ever baked.  He came in there after he walked the dogs and said he did love me, I told him no he didn’t and that was fine, he could tell me on his own time. He insisted he did and I asked "since when?" “Since the first day I met you”, he then said was I good for him. I said "so are carrots but that doesn't mean you love them" So that was that and we went to sleep. He then sent a text the next day saying it again so it’s all good I just learned a lesson, pick something they love to say I love you on, it was a whole love/hate kinda mixed message.

 

I wanted to give a big belated birthday shout out to Clare, hey girl! Also Mi Madre, went and spent the weekend with her last weekend while my dad and brother were out of town. My cousin was there because she took my mom to chemo the day before so we all had girl’s night that my mom really enjoyed, she never gets to hang with the girls, especially on her birthday.

 

Well I guess I am gonna go get my game face on... GO DAWGS!

 

 

 

HUMP month!!

Today marks the halfway point down the road to being in charge of another human! 20 weeks ago today my life changed forever! Now I get to sit at home on a Friday night and wonder why I am sitting at home on a Friday night...again. It can get depressing having little reality checks along the way, like I now live in the burbs and my only friend is my Babydaddy and Brandy (Kelly disappeared again). Babydaddy actually has a life and Brandy is over an hour away so that leaves all you guys. Thanks for listening and making me seem like I am not a loser just going through some life changes that I am not ready for. I talk to several baby advisors on the reg but Megan is actually going through this with me. She is due in October which means she is a couple months a head of time and can keep me in the loop on the specifics in real time. The time is flying by like I had hoped and I remember the beginning of this journey like it was yesterday. Wood and I were just starting to date, oh wait that was yesterday, ha. We were just starting to date and I am having unusual symptoms, fatigue (I fell asleep on the couch in the middle of day…red alert!), sore boobs, sharp moods, and of course I am late. Brandy tells me I need to go get a test and see. No no I am fine, I am not pregnant, I am just late due to stress blah blah. A week goes by and nothing so Wood and I decided to go to dinner on a Monday and take one after. I let Brandy know the plan and she proceeds to wait on pins and needles. We talk ourselves out of taking the test and decided to wait a few more days. Brandy is now blowing my phone up wondering what is taking so long, so I text her and tell we are going to wait. My phone rings....”the HELL YOU ARE! Stop at the CVS right now and take the damn test!” Um yes ma'am, it’s not often I get scolded so I listen (and not to mention she has a crazy Spidey sense)so I make a beeline for the drugstore. By the time we get there I had to use the bathroom so bad that I grab a test with two in the box, pull one out of the box, hand the box to Wood and sprint to the bathroom. I am not exactly an expert in pregnancy test taking but how hard can it be, pee on the stick and a few minutes, no need to read the instructions. I soak the stick for like 5 minutes, threw it in my purse and ran out of there (wrapping it in paper towels of course). I get up to the counter and Wood has a pregnancy test and a 12 pack of Busch Light on the counter. The cashier just starts to laugh (I think it was because of the Busch light, who drinks that?) and we make our way to the truck for the moment of truth. We take the test out and it is like all jacked up, it says nothing really; there is not even a line in the control window. I take this a solid NO on being pregnant; we both breathe and report back to the lady waiting on the edge of her seat. She was confused, “I thought for sure you were..hhhmm ok.” We get back to my apartment, Wood drops me off, I call Brandy, and she is not convinced. We then decide that I need to go to bed, wake up and take the other test. That is exactly what I did. I read the instructions this time;  it says to soak for no more than 5 seconds (not 5 minutes) and lay flat (don't put in purse). And BAM it takes all of one second to light up like a Christmas tree...POSTIVE! Holy crap. I make my first call to Brandy cause it is 530am....she picks up the phone, doesn't even look to see who it is and says "you're pregnant aren’t you?" Yep. Holy Crap (long conversation of total confusion to follow). After pacing and letting the fog set in over my brain I call Wood.  His first words when he answers the phone "You took the other test didn't you?" Yes. Holy Crap. He took it very well, was eerily calm and therefore, so was I. I think shock is not over rated and comes in real handy when your mind can't comprehend. I stayed like that was for the next 4 days. 

 

 

3rd time is not always a charm

I am not gonna give you a load of crap and say I am going to start blogging every day; I do however will say I will start blogging every week. It’s hard ya'll! I am just starting to get into a routine and blogging comes with sitting straight up at a desk like I do all day long so it’s not that appealing. But I do miss talking to all my friends so I need to make it work. Let’s face it, I am not exactly Miss Popularity our here, so pretending like you all are listening to me intently feels better than hanging out by myself. Things are way different than when I started this blog 2 years ago. Yes 2 years! I used to be Single Stephanie in a one bed room apartment that I could get to in 10 minutes after work and really had nothing else to do but blog. NOW I go to work, (my new drive is very mentally draining, it’s very busy, I am training, overwhelmed and I have pregnancy tired brain that doesn't help) then I get in the car drive 45 minutes, get home and play house. I get home walk the dogs, either cook dinner or clean up after dinner and then hang out with Wood for a few minutes in front of the Tube then its bed time. I told Wood my dilemma on the not having time to blog and he told me to not walk the dogs and blog instead, so I shut them out of my office and they are in the hall crying and wondering why I am ignoring them. I want to also point out I get called over to the neighbor’s house a couple times a week’s cause she is constantly giving me baked goods. I just inhaled half a banana nut cake before dinner and now I am regretting it. My eating habits are out of control. I literally ordered half of the menu at a local country diner the other morning. Every weekend is spent moving stuff out, in or away, we are in the midst of a long work in progress project getting situated and when I do have a few minutes to spare it is spent on the couch. Yesterday sucked, no Sunday Funday for me. Wood and I had plans with another couple to cookout at their house Saturday day, the girl left around 5 to go out and that was my cue to escape and head for the couch. I left Wood there to have a boy’s night fishing. I went to pick him up the next morning and I freakin get pulled over….again! I thought for sure that me being pregnant would help so I worked it. I told him that I was speeding because I hadn't had any breakfast and I was in a hurry to find something to eat cause I was about to faint, which was actually true. He took my license, went back to the ca, he told me I could get out and walk around if need be, so I shamelessly walk around with my hand on my forehead sticking out my belly with my other hand on my lower back.  Well I guess he was not moved by my performance because I got a ticket. I guess 3rd time is not a charm in the criminal world. This would be 3 strikes and I am out! The 2 warnings I got not too long ago weren't enough for me I had to go and get a ticket! He then made me go to the nearest fast food restaurant (Burger King) and he insisted on following me there. Um doesn't he understand that Burger King is gross and I have been holding out for a Dunkin Donuts and that is the reason I got pulled over in the first place?! I had to eat a gross croissant while the cop sat there and basically watched. I already was in the car for far longer than I wanted because I thought my TomTom was taking me the long way and I know a short cut, I don't know a short cut! All I know is long cuts so this day was not starting off good. Then we go home and ordered a pizza....it was from Jets and equally disgusting! Then I fell while walking the dog later so I immediately think I harmed the baby, hopefully I am just paranoid. So I decided to reside to my bed and watch crap TV. Hopefully this next week will be better….I will let you know…

 

I think I am back...large and in charge

I am so ready to get back into a routine but its happening slower that I thought. I moved up north and finally got cable and Internet this past weekend, so yay! I have my own little office set up so that makes me happy. I am so tired right now though I should started this earlier. I got home, walked the dogs, and then the 93 year old neighbor wanted to beat my ear into the ground about this and that, but she is making my baby boy a blanket so I can't really cut her off to go blog. Did I say boy? Yes I said boy! We are have a baby boy branch! Super excited! Well I was, Wood had his heart set on a little girl to call Sunny, but I am thinking he will just have to get over that. In order to make him feel better I had to promise the next one would be a girl...what? Anyhoo, my life is crazy as always, this past week, we got a new bed with my dad's help,so I can finally sleep! I haven't slept in weeks mostly cause all the beds I had to choose from sucked, which confused me cause I thought pregnant people were known for their sleeping abilities no matter what!So I am very excited about my brand new memory foam mattress! I also got a pregnancy pillow to help with my back, so I am set, cable check, Internet check, bed check, smile check. I also got a gift card from my Aunt Becky for some maternity clothes! Excellent timing, me and my 21 extra pounds are quickly growing out of my first batch that Amber sent up. I feel great though, I am loving my new life, I think God said, "hey girlfriend, you have paid your dues, I am gonna hook you up! Here is a wonderful man, a house, and new job,a neighbor who makes blankets round the clock and a healthy baby boy... so enjoy!" So I am! I am slowing letting it all sink so I can embrace it. When I say that our neighbor make blankets around the clock I am not kidding, I am sitting on two of them right now. Ok I must go climb into my new bed, until tomorrow....

whatever Comcast

When I said this was going to be my year I didn’t know that meant cram as many life changing events in one year as humanly possible. But true to Spaz form that seems to be what is happening. Let’s see, so far this year I have signed up to have a baby, if it wasn’t enough to prepare to be in charge of another human, I thought it would be good idea to also start a new job. Oh and wait let’s not forget the new boy in my life, since he is in the picture let’s throw in moving for good measure. Wood didn’t like the idea of me being all pregnant by myself in my one bedroom apartment so we have been looking for a house to rent. During our search one became available, his Grandmothers. She had to move in with his mom due to health issues, so her house became vacant, still fully furnished and in need of an occupant. Ding ding ding jackpot! Now we are moving to the burbs, in a 3 bedroom house on a cold-de-sac. It is literally just like Wisteria Ln from Desperate Housewives. Everyone is always working in their well-manicured yards, raking, gardening and gossiping. I am sure these people are in need of some new material and Wood and I will be glad to provide that to them. I am not sure if they are ready for the pit-bull, the Rottweiler, the Wood, the knocked up Spaz. Anyway, I am slowly moving up there, I broke my lease and I have til the end of the month to move out of my apartment. I am back to being a nomad going in between houses and the house I have been spending the most time at does not have internet or cable (now I know what I know what Laura Ingles felt like). I thought we were getting all that stuff on the 6th but nope. Comcast has to run a cable underground first so it’s going to be another 2 weeks! That is why I said I would start blogging again on the 6th, but nope, still gonna have to blog whenever I stop by apartment and when I do that it’s to get a car load of stuff so it’s hard. So be just a bit more patient on the regular posts, the 20th is the new date on regular living. Me and no cable has been interesting, I have had to read, talk to people and do chores, it’s exhausting! Most of my usual activities have been taken away from me so all I want to do is watch TV, the one guilty pleasure that is left that won’t hurt the baby. When Comcast put a screeching halt to my dreams yesterday, I have been in hiding at my apartment watching TV. I told Wood I needed some Stephanie time and so I feel like I have been having an affair with my TV. He doesn’t get it because he rarely watches TV and has never really had cable; this is one thing we don’t have in common. I just got done watching the entire first season of The Newsroom, excellent show! Now I am writing and then I have to head back up north, to Amish country. I started my new job last week after ending my tenor at Servpro. I got a job with one of our sub-contractors, a construction company. I am their office manager, pretty much running the show and doing what I know best, construction, yay! I am crossing my fingers that my pregnancy brain and sporadic exhaustion won’t affect my perfmance all that much. I am no longer drinking caffeine so we shall see. My doctor said I can have one cup of coffee a day but it makes me sick, so I am relying on my natural energy. Ok my time is up; I must come out of hiding and head up to Goodlettsville, TN to get ready for the week. I can’t wait to blog daily again so you can get a day in the life and not long general recaps, this is what I get for trying to do it all at once in the name of material! Miss you all!!