Wednesday, May 25, 2016

today's dictionary

The definition of panic: the moment you realize you are in the family locker room at the gym after you take your shirt off

The definition of stupid: when you are driving down the highway and you hear a sound of what seems like a leak and its spewing everywhere under the hood. You finally get to an exit to jump out, pop the hood, freak out, and nothing. You get back in the car and realize its your economy sized aerosol hairspray can smashed against something in your middle console.

The definition of a lunatic: the moment your one-year-old is choking on something and your version of the Heimlich is to scream in the baby's face until she throws it up (it worked)

The definition of good luck: the day you knock on a homeowner's door and a bird pops up out of a nest located on the wreath. It scares the crap out of you and then you scare the crap out of it...all over your leg

The definition of ridiculous: an angry homeowner violating the English language by misusing and over using the word "hence"

The definition of a insanity: thinking that one day you will become sane.

All in all, a crazy couple of months HENCE me not blogging. I hope to start it up again starting now, at least once a month .....time will tell.