Wednesday, May 30, 2012

day 245 burnt sienna

Ok now the play by play of Memorial Day weekend.
Friday

Got stood up!

Yep. Again.

Had a 2nd date with what's his name (I think it was Tim). All dressed up and nowhere to go....that was until I got beckoned over to Kelly’s for a cookout.  Perfect timing and I had an audience to bitch to. They all advised me to not send the "you're a d**k” text that I was planning on sending. They told me to say nothing. I am still in training on "playing hard to get" so I am fully listening to all of my advisors from now on. So I did nothing.

He did call me twice, two hours after he was supposed to meet me and then texted the next morning. I let him sweat it out. He texted all day Saturday was apologizing with some lame excuses. I let him text me 4 times before I responded, per my trusty advisors. That day we were having big fun at my pool, so I wasn't too concerned. I had Brandy, Kelly, Gary and the Philly couple over for a day at the pool and cooked out. Brandy and I had made plans to go to the Sounds game that night, but the pool was feeling too nice and getting ready seemed ridiculous.

After the sun went down, the half circle settled into my place for some R & R and girl time. Brandy became super excited about ordering food in.  Living in the country she hasn’t ordered food to be delivered in years! So we let her order all her favorite things, it being a special occasion and all.

During our pool fun, I got in big trouble, as my faded spray tan was a disaster. It looked ridiculous Friday night, so I made an executive decision to apply some self-tanning lotion to fill in the patches. NOT A GOOD IDEA! When Brandy showed up, it wasn't “hey or hello” it was “you look ridiculous; you are like 9 different colors.” She has scolded me many times in the past for this very thing. No one disagreed with her, including me. Thank goodness I got stood up! She yells out, you have pretty white skin, why do you want to look like a Burnt Sienna crayon??! I defended myself with, I am listening to you about playing hard to get, one thing at a time!!

I have to go to bed so tomorrow I will talk about my final self-tanning intervention and  how I gave Mr. "Stand me up" a 2nd chance to take me out for Sunday Funday.


Day 244 and that's a wrap!

Part 5
Ok last day of botched plans in Atlanta.

I made plans to have breakfast with my friend Lilsteph. We've known each other for around 9 years; she was once an intern at my job when I worked in the TV/Advertising industry 100 years ago. She always tells people that I was the only person who was nice to her and we've been friends ever since. She lives in Brookhaven, so naturally I schedule a breakfast on the morning after the wedding. It’s about a block from Gary’s and I will be swinging by there to grab my stuff and walk Jake one last time (the neighbors were scheduled to walk Jake on the night of the wedding long before I got there).

I wake up in Decatur at Patti's, which was cool because we got to have some girl time over a cup of coffee. We talked for a bit until I realized that I have to get going!

Ok first things first, figure out how I am going to get to Brookhaven. This is gonna be tricky seeing as I am at Patti's, my car is at Alicia's and my keys are in my purse in Christine’s car. Hhhhhhhmmmm what a pickle.

The clock is now also ticking and my breakfast plans are starting to crowd my lunch plans that I also made with my folks. AH! The first thing I do is call and push lunch to1pm. They are driving an hour to meet me off of the exit on the way out of town, so that is about as much time I have get to push it back.

LilSteph calls me to see what time we are meeting, I tell her my predicament. She offers to help, she says she will come and get me. She said if the only way I get to spend time with you is to drive you around town collecting your belongings, then so be it. Ha, awesome! Thanks girl! And that is exactly what she did. We grabbed a bagel togo and then went on a scavenger hunt for my stuff. We had some laughs about the whole thing and we have a short time to catch up on the way to Christine’s to fetch my keys. Josh and his friend from out of town are up and hopped in the car so they can go get Christine’s car. So now LilSteph has a car load of people she is carting around town. We get to the car and get my keys, drop them off and then head to my car. Being a good sport, she drops me off and we have a good laugh at my Spaswell antics.

Now I get to haul-ass to Gary’s to grab my stuff, walk Jake so I can then haul some more ass to meet my parents in Carterville by 1pm and it is now 1230pm. SWEET! I finally made it, I was only 15 minutes late and we had a fun filled lunch at Red Lobster.

AND that’s a wrap!!!!  HWY 24W was looking pretty darn good and I headed back to my cozy simple life (but not before a freakin tornado and lots of traffic to make my trip extra special).


Monday, May 28, 2012

Happy Memorial Day!!!!

Part 4
The Wedding, it was very fun and funny! We all piled in the room where they held the ceremony. I sat with Matt Burrell, the only other single guy who was not in the wedding. Eleven groomsmen and four bridesmaids didn’t leave many of our friends in the audience. We all stood up and watched Elisabeth come down the aisle. We watched her walk towards her lovely groom-to-be Mr. Jim Francis Nark as we saw his face light right up, (although that could of been from the whiskey he most likely downed on the way to the alter, ha-ha).

Elisabeth looked smashing, Jim looked dashing and the "Pastor" was a friend of theirs who got ordained on the internet. This is already off to a funny start. Here we are gathered together, standing up and the pastor starts in on this hilarious speech that he wrote himself. He gathered all kinds on personal information after interviewing the two of them a month prior. Ok here's the thing, he never actually asked us to sit down, ever. The entire congregation of people is just standing there laughing at this voice who is talking about these people who we can’t see, because we are all standing up! I am sure the ceremony was quite lovely, I heard talk of a knot being tied and I think they kissed, oh well that’s why God made videographers.

Later after the wedding, we cornered this guy and asked him why he never asked us to sit down.  He started cracking up, he said that since this was his first and probably last wedding, (too bad cause he had a pretty spiffy robe on) that it never occurred to him. He thought that we would all have enough common sense to just have a seat! Ha funny stuff.

The reception was fun, we ended up sitting at a table that wasn't big enough of for our crew, so we stole chairs from other tables and made it big enough. ha

 All in all a fun event with no drama………shocker!

It was good to see everyone and take a glimpse into their lives without me. That said, I would like to extend a congratulations to Meredith and Danny for being knocked up again, Justin for making and an honest woman out of Michelle and of course, the newlyweds Jim and Elisabeth! Everyone else is living right and staying true... just as I left em.


Ok tomorrow will be part 5, “Operation get the hell out of Atlanta!”


Thursday, May 24, 2012

day 241 part three.... 90 MPH

Part 3

Ok so after everyone realized that I was still alive, I went on to my next appointment of meeting up with Samantha for lunch. Anna joined in again later; these are my two bartending buddies from Hudson Grille. Sam got a big kick out of the fact that I was still in my clothes from the night before. I didn’t have time to run by Gary’s and change cause I was running late, shocking I know. It was almost like one long walk of shame, the shame being I am just making people wait around all over town. We laughed a lot, got all caught up and now I have to make a mad dash to my hair appointment. After we said goodbyes and they gave their promises to visit… I was off again!

It was so good to see my hair dresser, Elizabeth We had a lot to catch up on; I was talking my head off and didn't notice that she had chopped 4 freakin inches off! I honestly think I have had way better haircuts (which is a shame since I waited an entire to get it cut so I could see her!) I feel like I could of put a salad bowl on my head and cut it myself. Nothing I can do about it now! I really am having a hard time liking it, its way short and could be a little more stylish. But, I will rock it with confidence, only because I really don't have a choice.

Right after I got my hair whacked, I went back to Gary’s to shower and I had a surprise visitor! Sarah came over with two Chai ice coffees in tow. What a great friend! We got to talk for a little bit (not nearly long enough). We ended up looking at the photo album that I made Gary of our 5 years together before I walked out the door entered my next life. It was so fun to reminisce and she said my hair looked healthy, ha ok, I'll take it. I totally sacrificed my “getting ready” time to chat with Sarah; I think I should get a few points back from my previous fail.

Since I had zero minutes to get ready, I had to jump in the car and try to make myself look like I did not do my make-up on the way to the wedding going 90 MPH. I pull myself together, peel into Alicia’s on two wheels and everyone is of course waiting on me. Five of us pile in Christine’s car and head to the Decatur Court house, I made it! So proud of myself.

Ok that is all the time I have....looks like this is gonna be a 4 or 5 parter....until then!


day 240 part 2 of ATL


Part 2

Ok where did I leave off?...So after I conned the tanning lady, I was supposed to meet MB but it was Friday at 5pm and I was supposed to mete her at 6pm. It was rush hour and I only had an hour window with MB, if I would have tries to get through traffic at that time I wouldn’t of made it… so I missed my chance. Sorry girl, I am still kicking myself, I should have made it happen! This is the result of me trying to make too many plans in a short amount of time. I literally had every hour of every day accounted for and I forgot that I am not Wonder Woman. So I owe MB a visit.

I then made my way to Gary’s to pack up Jake and head to Christine’s. My plan was to drop him off there and go out in Decatur. When I got there, I let Jake out, he immediately ran over to the neighbor’s house, which is where his girlfriend lives (tiny fluffy dog). The neighbors were out on the deck, so I chatted it up while collecting my dog. They insisted that I leave Jake with them, ok done!

I am off to Twains to meet my Decatur peeps. Everyone was meeting there after the rehearsal dinner for Jim and Elisabeth’s wedding.  It’s our favorite spot to hang; it’s where I spent my last night in Atlanta. We all had a blast, Megan made a guest appearance. She snuck in under the radar, we got to hang out and do our usual photo shoot in the photo booth (Twains has an instant photo booth). I love that girl, she is so fun, we go way back to my Pulte days.

Alicia and I got to go in the photo booth. During my last hooorah in Atlanta back in July, I took turns with everyone who was there in the photo booth, so I have a whole bunch of fun pics all lined up on my fridge of that night. Alicia was busy being pregnant so she got left out (excuses excuses). When I got there she had he money ready to make that long overdue photo shoot happen! Alicia, you she finally made the fridge! After we closed the place down it was beddy by time. I was exhausted! Went back to the nearest bed and slipped into a coma.

Here is the part where I disappoint yet another friend and totally stand Sarah up for our breakfast date. :( We had plans at 8am and after the past two nights of little to no sleep, I over slept. I woke up at 1030am in a panic!!! I have never slept that late in my life! I had 4000 texts and missed calls. The missed calls were from Sarah, Brandy, Gary and Marybeth, these were the 4 people assigned to the missing person’s case. I also got some pictures of Sarah eating her breakfast all alone...I suck! I call Sarah, explained to her what happened and apologized profusely. I got the "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed speech" AAAAHHH that’s the worst!! I would rather her punch me in the face!!! I then call the rest of the designated search party and listen to a few lectures. Sarah called Brandy, Brandy doesn't have anyone’s number, I can't remember how Marybeth got involved, but she couldn't track me down either. Sarah drove over to Gary’s looking for me and sees Jake running down the street, he is like walking himself. She started to panic seeing as I am not there and I am supposed to be watching Jake. She saw the neighbor walk outside; she flags him down to ask about me. He said he thought that I would have been back already to let him out cause well, that is what I told him. That is how Gary got involved the APB made it all the way out to Boston! Ok so I am sooooo sorry I worried everyone and soooo mad I missed our catching up time that we planned weeks and week ago! So now I own Sarah a visit too.

Ok that is it for part two....we will pick up with part 3 tomorrow. (Did I make it to the wedding? we shall see:)


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

day 238 lordy lordy, I feel like I'm forty!


I didn't sleep again last night, like not at all! So I am a little out of it, my grammar and spelling may be a little off tonight..haha.

Part 1
Whirlwind Atlanta weekend:

Thursday:
2nd longest road trip of my life. Arrived Gary’s around 11pm after sitting at my desk for 10 hours. Walked into the house and Jake knew exactly who his Mommy was and I gave him lots of hugs and kisses! After I pet him for a bit, I drag my suitcase inside and head off to bed (remember Gary is in Boston). I don't remember that bed being so comfortable and I pretend that it wasn’t weird at all being in my old bed after all this time.  I can’t sleep of course, so I spent the rest of the evening texting my remaining two boys from POF in my ex-boyfriend’s bed. I have deleted my profile but am still talking to them (Hank and Tim). I finally fall asleep at freaking 2am, I hope I am not falling into my old insomniac ways!

Friday:
I wake up and go for a run with Jake through Brookhaven; it was exactly as I remember it plus a few more tall trendy buildings. The run/walk was a success with minor knee pains. We get home and jump in the car to take Jake to get a bath at City Dog Market (I was the last person to give him a bath in October) poor guy.

After I take my own much needed bath, it’s off to Hudson Grille to meet Casey and Anna! Anna is running late, so Casey and I had a chance to catch up girl on some talk on a beautiful day at our old place of employment. Anna finally shows up with her work friends, they happen to be having a work function that day so she had to split her time up between us and them. After her work friends leave, us three head next door to get our nails and toes done, yay! I haven’t had them done in like a year! It was so nice to sit in a row and get pampered like we were all on an episode of Sex and City. Another co-worker shows up, so I pretend I’m Carrie, Anna is Charlotte, Casey is Samantha and Corrine is Miranda. We gossip and have a glass of wine like we are VIP or something, it was awesome.

Then the real fun begins, I pull a total Spaswell. Anna can bring a friend to get a free spray tan to the salon next door.  So against my, well everyone else's better judgment, I decide to get one. The condition of the free spray tan is that you must be a first time visitor. Did I mention that this is my old tanning salon where I used to get sprayed once a week? I convince myself that they won’t remember me and head on over. I go in and Anna introduces me to the girl as her friend from out of town. She was like, “Um, aren’t you Stephanie? Stephanie, as in an old client of mine?” Um nope, my name is Stacy, Stacy Miller and I have never been here before I say with conviction.  She looks at me like I have nine heads, as she should....she continue to accuse me of being Stephanie Baswell and I continue to insist that I am Stacy Miller from Nashville. I proceed to not make eye contact as I act like I am in the middle of a very important text to um nobody. It was all very awkward but I really wanted the free spray tan! I had been sitting on the patio for hours and was now burnt with strange tan lines right before a wedding, I had no choice. She finally gives in and tells her co-worker to please escort “Stacy Miller” to her booth.  Yep, that really happened and I am not proud.

Well that is part one, tomorrow I will go into more Spaswell shenanigans from Atlanta, right now I am off to bed. Hopefully I will not be watching the clock hit 1am, 2am, 3am, and 4am again tonight, I need sleep!!






Monday, May 21, 2012

day 237

Ok I have a lot to go over! I had a lot of fun in Atlanta! I got home last night, too tired to blog. Now its late again ,so it will have to wait until tomorrow because I just got back from an impromptu date! We had a lot of fun busting each other's chops all night, smart ass meets smart ass. We laughed alot, it was fun! We had some dinner at Winners in midtown. It was a last minute thing, met him after work and I changed in the parking lot when I got there since I still had an entire suitcase of clothes in my back seat. We joked about having our "bail out" calls on standby in case it was a disaster. But right now I am exhausted and I used all of my material on him. More tomorrow! Much more!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

day 236 off I go!


Ok I am all packed! I am headed to Atlanta after work tomorrow! I am going to see Jim and Elisabeth get married after 9 years of dating! This is my old Decatur crew and I am pumped! My non Decatur friends are sprinkled throughout the weekend too, my itinerary is jam packed! I am staying at Gary's tomorrow night and watching Jake all weekend while he is out of town. I agreed to take on the responsibility of watching Jake while going 100 miles an hour trying to see everyone! I am excited to see my baby boy and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but it’s gonna be nuts!

I got a bad ass dress at Marshall’s; all the ladies in the dressing room helped me make a decision. I seriously had a team of random strangers as advisors… thank goodness! Nashvillians are so freakin nice!

Random side note: My boss and I had a bet that I couldn't collect 65K in 8 days...well I have collected 85K in 6! I am really getting into this whole project! My prize is a cookout for the team..you are welcome team!

Well I must go pack! I will try my best to give a play by play all weekend!


Day 235 trail of tears


I decided to give my knees a test drive, test the waters and see what's up, so to cut to the chase, if you are reading between the lines, I went on a run. I am bloody sick of my workout routine and needed some air! Got up at 5, drove downtown, parked by the river and took off (most people would probably just go around the block if they haven’t been running since August due to injuries) I myself prefer to take a trip across the city. It was a gorgeous morning; the scenery was beautiful and headed for the walking bridge. The bridge goes over the Cumberland River to the Titans stadium and provides a gorgeous glimpse of the city. I start to tear up cause I miss it so much and if feels so good, then I tear up cause it starts to hurt and I realize I am not ready. I get over the bridge; keep running thinking I can just loop back around to the other side. I realize that there is a reason that there is a bridge, it’s the only way to get to and fro, and there is no loop. So I have to turn around and go back over the bridge, I start to tear up again cause this is gonna hurt! My brother has taught me to stick my butt out and bend my knees in order to support my knees better when I go up and down stairs. So now I am going up this bridge while sticking out my butt out and bending my knees while running up hill, I am feeling a little like Phaedra from Atlanta Housewives as she is a self-proclaimed donkey. 3 miles later, I make, well back to the routine and the old drawing board, or the doctor...


Monday, May 14, 2012

Day 234 Start spreadin the news!

Great news equals a great day! My Mom's test results came back and they were good! Oh happy day! This means that her body kept the cancer under control without chemo for over a month. She is going to be under close surveillance as she ventures on for another 6 weeks without it! YAY! This is huge! She gets to be "normal" and have a quality of life that she hasn’t had in 3 years! Thank you Lord!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

233 LOL on Mother's Day.

Dear Mommy Lou,
I am so glad that I have a blog; I get to tell the people I care about the most how the most important lady in my life makes my life wonderful by doing one simple thing…laughing.

Words can't explain how your laugh makes me feel, but I am gonna give it a shot. When I have had a rough day, your laugh makes me feel like I can keep going, like my thirst has been quenched, like I just drank a grape Gatorade on hot summer day.

I love the sound of your laugh, like the day you watched the video of my karaoke debut on YouTube. That was some good belly laughing I got to hear in my ear as I was driving down the road.

When you talk about your dogs, you are so animated and you talk as if you know exactly what is going on in their heads and it’s hilarious. I love listening to these stories because I know I am going to get to hear the best sound in the world in a mere moment.

My favorite laughs are when you are laughing at your own expense; those are the “I can't believe I just did that” laugh. Those are the “I’m so glad I’m laughing and not crying” laughs. These are the laughs I am also familiar with.

You and your mom, Grandma Ohlau, are known for your infectious laughs and great legs. To this day I can hear Grandma’s laugh, I can see her with her head back and mouth open and then I hear your laugh. I picture you with your eyes squinted, mouth all crinkled up as you bend your knees and double over. Those two visions will always be with me.

They say that laughter is the best medicine and that rings so so true, I believe it is one of the many backbones that hold our little family together. I cannot count the times in my life I wish you were around just to hear you laugh.

I am so blessed to have such a kind hearted and beautifully souled mother to teach me what I need to know in order to be as lovely of a person as you. I love you with all the goodness in my own heart and I want to thank you for being you and showing me how to be me.



Happy Mother's Day.

Love,
Stephanie Kay




Saturday, May 12, 2012

day 232 you're no daisy, you're no daisy at all


Been up since 8am, been to the grocery store, paid bills, cleaned the apartment, and received (and rejected) another present from the rodeo clown. I am sitting out on the deck enjoying a cup of tea (because I am 85-years-old) and here he comes. He said he had something for me, ah geez, he grabs something out of his truck, hides it behind his back and tosses it up to me. I catch it, it’s a stuffed animal dressed in a Tennessee Volunteer jersey, I looked at yelled out “BLEK” and through I right back to him. I am a GA girl, I cannot accept that! Poor guy probably spent all morning and half his paycheck at Shoney’s trying to snag that thing from the pile of stuffed animals with the big metal prongs. Sorry dude! He was on his way to Wal-Mart to buy a new bandanna; apparently someone snagged one of his multi colored bandannas from his costume last night. He heads to the truck but not before yells out, "If you have any single friends (who prefer guys who were white Velcro shoes) send em my way!" Ok sure thing!

My parents were gonna come up this weekend after they learned my Mom’s test results on Friday. The appointment got pushed to Monday so they can't come this time. Sad face :(
I will see them next weekend when I am cruise through the great state of Georgia so it’s all good.

Plan B is my country summer home, me and my laundry are heading to Brandy’s here in a minute.  If I can’t spend Mother’s Day with mi Madre, Brandy will have to do. She certainly qualifies as my mother with her constant supervision, support and advice. They say it takes a village and I wouldn’t know what to do without her, so maybe I will stop and pick some daisies for Mama Brandy as a token of my appreciation.


Thursday, May 10, 2012

231 if you're too busy talking, you're not busy listening

I am speaking in the third person, Steph you F’d up another potential mate. I was seeking attention from a guy who wasn't giving it to me. I haven’t learned many many lessons from past experiences and from the advice of my advisors.  I lost another one to me not playing hard to get. I called him yesterday...he didn't call me back after 5 hours and I texted him busting his chops. He ended up snapping at me cause he was still a work and now it’s over. I got a talking to from Sarah, Brandy and Stewart. They all gave me "tough love" speeches and I think I am finally learning my lesson...just freakin chill so I will stop having to start from scratch! Ok got it. I had to virtually pinky swear to each of them that I would forever have and to hold, through sickness and in health, listen to their advice and  get off of Plenty of Fish dot com.  Both Sarah and Brandy stated that the way I deal with potential boyfriends is not who I am in life. I am a confident and funny person who needs to stop falling in love on the 2nd date!


I am good now, I had a grand day at work and need to focus on that for a minute. My life is good and don’t need no stinkin boys.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

day 230 test test and more tests

Well I just used up my blog time talking to Sarah for the past hour. We talked about me trippin over yet another guy who won't call me back. How does this happen? I am halfway into a guy and he doesn't call me back  over a 4 hour time spam and now I'm trippin! Whatever. In a new relationship, the control lies with the person who cares the least.....bottom line...true story.

I am supposed to be taking a test right now, I am starting to get certified for various things at my job and they all include tests. I guess I will stop typing and go take a test on how to be a Crew Cheif... its due tomorrow at 8am...

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

day 229 The Voice spoiler alert


I am watching the finale of The Voice; they have done a way better job of entertaining us than Idol. Even though, Christina was kind of a biddy and last night she looked like a can of busted biscuits in her gold Lemay, it was still good. She needs to be thinkin about wearin stuff that fits...

I am gonna miss this show! Adam and Blake and Ceelo, kill me! Ok well I guess I need to stop typing and see who wins....hold please....



Dangit!!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!

My girl Juliette Sims was my front runner since day 1! She came so close!!! Dangit! The black bald back-up singer won, he definitely has the pipes, so maybe he’ll go places.


The show was very well done, except when Christina got up to congratulate her opera singer for losing...um bedazzled undies?? Who lets her leave the house wearing this stuff???? Stop it! We get it; you are proud of your curves, now go put some clothes on!


Ok good night


day 227 I think

I think he was trying too hard the first couple times, when he kissed me the other night, much better, more relaxed and I am chalking it up to nerves (we are not giving out any awards or anything, but the improvements are noted).

Anna and her man came into town late Friday, like 10pm! They apparently had some issues with traffic, it was fine with me that they were exhausted and I got to change out of my goin out gear and into some comfies. We just hung out on the deck talked and laughed. Ryan wasn’t feeling well, so he mostly hung out on the recliner. His hiccups were gone (he didn’t make it to the wedding BTW, he had to sit at home the previous weekend Anna made the drive to Nashville and tend to chronic hiccups) This week, his friend had a wedding and he had any eye infection and stomach issues. We got up the next morning, he still wasn’t right so Anna and I headed out, she promised me dinner the night before, but I settled on lunch. We went down to Big River Tavern on Broadway and sat on the patio (primo people watching spot) and discussed her plans to escape Atlanta and move here. She talks about it A LOT, so I think she should do it, with or  without her man, just sayin. I like Ryan a lot, but sometimes you gotta ditch the boys and go live your life. When we got back to the apartment with a Smoothie in tow for Ryan, he informed us he was not getting better and they should just go back to Atlanta. Basically they drive here so Anna could take me to lunch, thanks girl!

I am sitting here typing at the gym, I need to get on the elliptical that I sitting am next to…TTYL!

PS I still have the same 5 chigger bites!

Monday, May 7, 2012

day 227 care package



Sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do...and a girl’s gotta EAT! I accepted an invitation to drive to Clarksville to have dinner with soldier girl I mean boy. He slow cooked his specialty lasagna all day along with asparagus and cheese bread. He knows I like salad, so he made me a huge salad all for me, he doesn't even like salad, so he had to go buy all this salad stuff including the salad dressing just for me. The drinks are still pink, for dinner he paired the pasta with a Moscatto wine, its pink, that’s all I know. First pink strawberry margarita and now pink wine, well I guess the dude likes him some pink drinks. He is very attentive  I gotta say, I mention that I  was cooking asparagus for myself one night, then he cooks it for me, I mention eat salad every day for lunch, he makes a salad, I mention I want this book but can't find it, he goes out and buys it for me. All very attention to detail military stuff, I love it!

Dinner was amazing and then he had a movie all ready for us "The Immortals" he hands me a pair of black glasses...ha! What, are you kidding me? We are about to watch a movie in 3D in his living room, with the fancy 3D glasses that you actually sync up with the TV. He thought of everything and this was my first 3D movie ever!

I left there with a care package, 2 to-go containers of lasagna, a salad, salad dressing and a book. HA!

Ok I gotta go to work, I got home late last night but needed to share before work, I will fill you in on more date details and the adventures of Anna and her hiccupping man later...


Friday, May 4, 2012

226 smartass!

Ok so I am sitting here waiting on Anna and her man to get here. They are crashing with me tonight and going to a wedding tomorrow. I was promised dinner damnit! They were supposed to be here at 530pm and then 730pm and then 815pm and now the new ETA is 915! I am hungry people! That’s it, they are getting dirty towels. I totally forgot to wash the extra bedding and towels, so I just dug em out of the hamper and folded everything up from when the last time I had guests...sssshhh don't tell.

So last night was fun my Fem Soldier is growing on me, we watched some baseball and had a good time. I cancelled our date tonight so I could sit around and wait on my friends. Yesterday, I was in a mood and was giving him the bizness via text.  I was a huge smartas, bordering on mean and he finally called me out on it. He said my flirting skills were an epic failure. So I dialed it down during the date and he said he no longer wanted to punch me. I don't know who I think I am sometimes. But he can't be too mad cause he really sets himself up when he starts impersonating Skoopy Doo via text and saying things like "gasp" and "sigh" when he is trying to implement voice inflection in his texts. He told me to add one of his comments into his bank account of "cool guy points." I told him that his account was in the red and he would need to make a deposit. I am still trying to figure out a nice way to tell him that his kissing skills need a lot of work….is there a nice way to slide that in??? I actually could use some advice on how to address this…

Ok I guess I better get ready to go out past my bedtime.


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

day 225 upward and onward!

I am cracking up right now at my Mom's story she just told me and emailed me. Their two Pit bulls were barking their heads off today and she couldn't get them to shut up, since they usually listen, she decided to investigate. She finds this 6 foot long snake coiled in the fence hissing and striking at the dogs while they were going crazy! The dogs would get closer to make a move, the snake would strike,  the dogs would jump back and this song and dance went on for a while. My Mom calls my dad all frantic, he tells her to grab the ho and whack it, she decides to instead jump in the middle of the madness, point, aim and shoot...pepper spray! She pepper sprayed (what she now knows from looking on the internet) a poisonous rat snake. Mom saves the day! She said the dogs came inside immediately after and fell on the floor laughing. HA!
Wait, actually, let me just cut and paste her email and you can see the back to back mother/daughter version of the same story:

Hey y'all,  (this email is only to me, so I am not sure you “y’all” is J)

I accepted the changes on day 4, which just included a couple of spelling and punctuation errors. Please look at the errors on day 5 and click Review/Accept if you do. Remember the corrections for the future. :)

Today I had an amazing experience. The dogs were barking, so I went outside to quiet them and preventing them from getting too excited, especially in the heat. Pits are high maintenance and cannot take the heat. I yelled at them but they wouldn't even turn my way. Then I saw why. A long snake was looped on the fence by the driveway, and the dogs were barking out of their minds. The snake would coil and lunge at the dogs. And they lunged back.

We have some pepper spray and I finally decided the dogs would soon lose their energy and not get out of the way of the snake's hissing and biting; so I called dad, gave him the low-down and he approved my plan to spray the snake in the eyes! I moved on the side opposite the dogs and gave it a good spray. It immediately left. It seems uneventful as I write it, but I was having a fit.


We went into the house where the dogs flopped down on the cold basement floor, grinning and panting. They had had quite an adventure. So had I. Later I checked it out on the net and came up with a similar snake --- a rat snake which is poisonous. Yikes! It was around 6 ft. long.

I like your storytelling a lot better!!

Have a fantastic day!

mama lou


On that note, I would like to apologize for lying to my mother last night. I told her that I was going to have dinner with Kelly, when really I was going on a blind date with Mr. Conflicted. I had a good reason for lying; I didn't want to jinx the date! We had been having a fun time over email, text, phone and I wanted to keep up the flow, so I didn't tell anyone. This guy is as equally, if not more, superstitious as I am, so I rolling with the tone of our “connection” as complete superstitious lunatics. He goes as far as taking a swig of the shower water before he turns it off and spits it down the drain. This resembles him getting rid of the bad luck before he starts his day. He is a huge sarcastic smartass and I totally jive with that personality for some reason. :) Here is the conflicting part that I learned from our date at the Mexican restaurant. He is this bad ass officer in the army who just got back from standing behind the enemy lines in Afghanistan. He is muscular and stout, but not all that tall. He is actually my height and with my 1/2 inch heels, I was taller. Apparently tall is not in the cards for me, I am ok with that as long as he over compensates with personality. During our phone calls and text I am noticing a girly, fruity side to this military hard ass. He sounds a bit valley girlish and he totally threw me when this tatted officer ordered a frozen strawberry margarita. He then shows me his "bestie" tat that he has on his arm that he and his best guy friend share....that’s a new one. I thought that only 14-years-old girls shared BFF necklaces and such, but what do I know. I did actually LOL at his stories that he has from his lastes experiences with the being face to face with the Taliban and having his "terb" translate for him. The stories were amazing and unreal and quite entertaining, I can't imagine going through anything like that. He made my "bonus quest" seem like very small potatoes.

I think that this is a good segway into the fact that I GOT MY BONUS! I got what I wanted and I am so pumped! My bosses are awesome and super good peeps! I am so lucky and so proud of myself for being so ballsy. Yea buddy, that is the incentive I needed to do great things at this place!

Anyhoo, my date went good, I am glad I went, still not sold, but that is what second dates are for. He texted me and told me that he had a blast and that I was awesome and that he couldn't wait to see me again. To sum it up, he was a gentleman, he did text and ask me what my fav part of the date was, that was the first time I have ever had to give a review. I told him "I have to pick just one?"

We are going to watch the Sounds play tomorrow night, I need to get this fem solider around some man sports and see what happens. I really hope he is not reading this; him being in Special Ops and all, probably knows how to use Google…..

Tomorrow I will tell you about the dream my Dad had about his dog walking across the street in flip flops and diving into a swimming pool. Good night!


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

day 224 hhhhhmmmm zzzzzzz

I just got done with bazaaro day! I am exhausted, I just got home, I am soooo tired, but please stay tuned tomorrow. Sneak preview: I just got home from an impromptu date with Mr. Confliction. Also, more on the the latest of operation "Get a bonus".  I am brain dead and must go to bed...