Monday, October 28, 2013

liar liar

Wood and I got in this deep talk about telling the truth. We found out that his cousin's girlfriend has been lying to her parents for over 2 years now! That is how long she has been living with her boyfriend and not with friends. I have no idea how she has not slipped up by now. She is 26-years-old, in a committed relationship, is now even engaged to him. She says that they are very religious and would not understand. So I guess deception is better than living in sin. The kicker is they live 15 minutes away from each other!!! Wow. Wood hates a liar and is convinced that if she is lying about this to them, then she is lying about other stuff. This topic got me thinking. I also pride myself on not being a liar. First of all, I am horrible at it, secondly, if I tell the truth, I don't have to remember anything. BUT, I have actually been sitting on a lie for about 20 years now.  I swore I would tell my dad on my wedding day, and since I have not had that confessional wedding day yet, I am still sitting on this lie...until the other day. Wood convinced that I should just get it over with so that is what I did.

My dad bought me my first car, a 1985 Mazda RX7 Turbo and the one thing I had to promise was that I would never let anyone drive it, ever. I agreed and he turned over the keys. I loved the car and obeyed my dad, until I didn't. I let my BFF Angie's boyfriend, Todd and his friend Sam drive it to the gas station. Shortly after they left I got a call, they freakin wrecked it!!!! Damnit!!! They claimed that they hit an oil spot while turning into the gas station, forcing the wheel to collapse into the axel. Great just great, after a freak-out session, I decided to take full blame for this accident. My dad wasn't that mad, he said it was just an accident and he had it fixed. It cost $600 and I remember feeling very guilty since I knew he didn't havet hat kind of money just lying around. Somehow he made it happen.

I told my dad the other day and he when I told him who really was driving he said eeewww. He knew they were trouble, and since one is dead from drugs and the other is in prison for drugs, he was right. He said he loved me for telling him and that was that. And now I feel much better.

I recommend coming clean if you are holding in a lie....it feels great!

Friday, October 25, 2013

10 more weeks to go!!!!

Yesterday we will call the first post-fire funk day. The virus on my computer didn't help things. The only reason I am glad it’s Friday is that it marks the end of a very long week. Oh and it marks the 30th week I am pregnant, which means we are in the 10 weeks homestretch woo hoo!!

My back is furious that I am lugging around all this extra weight and I honestly don't think the skin on my stomach can stretch any further. People ask me all the time if I am having twins....nope just a small pony I say. I am trying not to complain but every day it gets harder and harder, why does my back hurt more when I lie down? I didn't sleep at all last night, maybe tonight I'll stuff myself into the coat closet, prop myself up on the vacuum cleaner and sleep standing up.

One week from today I get a change of scenery!! Wood and I are traveling to Georgia for a weekend of fun!! My homies Brandy, Sarah and Amber are throwing my me very own shower and I am pumped! Wood gets to spend Friday night with Brandy, Sarah, Brandy's mother and myself, lucky boy! I am so grateful for these gals, it means so much that they are taking time out of their lives to make sure my baby doesn't have to use the chest of drawers as a bed or bubble wrap as a car seat.

Dear, sweet Amber is giving me a pregnancy photo shoot as a gift. She is a fantastic photographer and her skills will be put to the test. We will see how well she will do at not making me look like a water buffalo; bring your wide lens girl, just sayin! I owe this girl a very belated birthday shout out!! This girl is so thoughtful and generous, she makes sure I am equipped with the necessities of life including friendly cards in the mail and I can't even manage to send her a birthday card. I am so thankful for you Amber, happy belated birthday and I love you!

 

Sarah is flying down from Pittsburgh for the entire weekend! I haven't seen her face in sooooo long and I am so excited!!! Brandy is the best for many reasons; this one is for offering up her Mother's house so all my old cronies can gather in one place before I am chained to nursery.

 
I plan on hanging with my Decatur crew for the GA/Fla game on Saturday. So this jam packed weekend can't get here soon enough!  The only who is excused is Marybeth, only because she will be at the game, lucky ducky. Oh and big preesh of the correction on the spelling of sauerkraut MB....after the fact (I thought it looked a little strange).

 

Ok back to my busy day!

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

decisions decisions

I just made my To Do list and it is evident that that pesky job was really getting in the way. I have a million things to do! For one I must call around and correct a few people on my address. I have been going around town telling folks my wrong zip code. What is up with me and my personal information, we are not connecting. I did figure out a way around getting bills in the mail so it’s not all bad. Sarah somehow had no trouble even with the wrong zip code. Her Starbucks gift card arrived just fine, she figured out a way for us to have coffee together again, even if it is over the phone, thanks girl!

Wood and I usually do our grocery shopping together so we can both get what we want and split the cost. We are both extremely indecisive so this could potentially be an all-day project. But he says I help him with his decision making process. When I am with him he is forced to make snap decisions, someone has to (I will admit that I take longer to pick out bacon than it did the Camry). It’s become quite comical that I must have everything picked out in my mind before I even reach the store. No stopping to linger in the cereal aisle for 30 minutes or pause to pick out a yogurt, nope, it’s a snooze or lose situation. I was busted with two boxes of crackers in my hand once, as I studied the boxes, he picked one out of my hand threw it in the basket and we moved on. One may complain about his tactics but I on the other hand I need this sort of discipline, this was quite evident when I went to the grocery store by myself yesterday to get stuff for dinner. I took my cook book with me to the store, mistake # 1. I had picked out a kielbasa cheese casserole because we had most of the ingredients and then I realized before I got out the car that is sounded gross. So I proceeded to go through the whole “Fix it and Forget it” crockpot cookbook that my mom gave me while sitting in the car. My objective was to find something different yet cheap. I picked out chicken and dumplings. I got in the store and started picking out the ingredients, as I read it, it appeared to be quite complex and would take way to long for my time frame (I am very busy). So I put all the ingredients back and went back to the cookbook while strolling down the aisle. I chose kielbasa and sour croute, not knowing if Wood likes either (he told me once that he would eat anything so I ran with it). The recipe called for 1 lb. of kielbasa, 64 ounces of sour croute, one bay leave and one onion. Done and done. I get home; cut up the 14 oz. of meat the package had to offer, cut up the small onion, threw a leaf in and piled on too huge jars of sour croute on top of my pour ingredience who didn’t stand a chance. I thought that this was a bit much, but who am I to argue with the recipe? So now I have the smell of sour croute oozing through the house for the next 5 hours. Long story short, Wood hates sour croute. We got a big laugh out of the fact that I now have a pot filled with a condiment for dinner; he said I may as well have a big pot of relish on the stove. So I fished out the 8 pieces of meat, put them in a Tupperware and fed him left over potato soup, a Brandy recipe that was a big hit.

So now I gotta focus on fighting for the bonus that I never got from Servpro. I was promised a bonus when I left that place. After months and months of nagging them about it I was finally told that after an audit they discovered that I had been “manipulating data in the system to get previous bonuses” and that I would not be getting one this time. WHAT???!!! You are saying that I was cooking the books for my financial benefit?!! Do you have any idea who you are talking to? You honestly think that I am that calculated?! How in the world would I even go about doing something like that, you are giving me way too much credit! I am still badgering the owner of the company to stop, think and prove his accusations of me being a thief and an extortionist! I am taking this matter very serious and won’t rest until my innocence has prevailed. I left there with an option for a letter of recommendation and now I am being accused of fraud?!

Why does having a job always equal some type of scandal in my world? You can take my money, harass me, lie to me, lie about me, sue me, fire me, lay me off, accuse me, knock me down but you can’t take my dusty clothes! I’ll just get back up, dust myself off and keep on keepin on. I bet the people working at the Shell Station don’t have these types of problems. They just get to hang out and serve the people with a stress free smile on their face every day, it’s very tempting.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

chapter 46

I started this blog over two years ago so I could document my new life in TN. Well today I am marking the day of the newest chapter in Spazwell world. I have once again found myself jobless. Its I almost like I am not meant to work for a living or something. It’s not important on the details of this new development right now. We are focusing on the positive and the fact that I can blog on the reg again. We are not focusing on the fact that I am going to give birth in 10 weeks and 3 days and have no job. We are gonna stay away from the subject (for now) that some people think it’s okay give a pregnant girl her walking papers, it’s all good, this is a blessing NOT in disguise. I don’t care about feeling totally isolated while on house arrest in Goodlettsville. I don’t want to waste a dollar on gas to the store until another form of income comes my way, come on unemployment!

I woke up today and decided that nothing was gonna get me down, not even the mysterious tiny piece of glass in my slipper that cut the bottom of my toe when I slipped them on this morning. Some girls get a glass slipper; I get glass in my slipper. I get it, loud and clear.

Yesterday was my first day testing out my house wife skills; I cleaned, did laundry and had dinner on the table when Wood walked in the door, chili nachos.

At least I have a boy who cracks me up on daily basis. I could be all down in the dumps and Wood will start talking exactly like Obama or he will sing Aaron Nevel’s version of the Cotton commercial or my new fav, the Cher impression. Yes I do believe in life after love Wood, especially since I am still laughing the following morning at your rendition of that song. Sunday I brought pregnancy brain to a whole new level. Wood has been to every Titans game and likes to go all out, so I drop him off and pick him up so he can have a few beers and not worry about the consequences. I dropped him off this past Sunday and true to form he forgot his phone at home. So I wrote down my number for him so he could call me when he was ready to be picked up. The game ended and I didn’t hear from Wood for a while but figured he was drowning his sorrows over another loss. Nope, he was trying to track down my number since I wrote down the wrong one. He calls, “um Stephanie your number is 491 not 419, I have been sending pictures to this lady from the game, then asked her for a ride home and she is mad! I had to call all over town and now everyone knows you don’t know your own number. I finally got it from my Pop.” Ooopsy, I never claimed to be good with numbers.

Ok well sitting her talking with you all, listening to the Bert Show, sipping coffee was great, I am gonna do it all again tomorrow!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

90 days to go!!!

Its confrontation week this week, starring yours truly! The night before last, I find myself and 2 old hags in a full blown argument one street down from mine. I am on a walk with one of the dogs and he hikes his leg on a fire hydrant. This lady comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at me, “Your dog better not be going to bathroom in my yard!” He’s not. “I just saw him.” He peed on a fire hydrant which is aloud, its public property and that’s what it’s there for! “I pay taxes on that fire hydrant!” So does everyone lady and this sidewalk we are walking on is also public property that we all pay taxes on! Then her life partner whizzes around the corner shakin her finger at me, “Don’t let that dog go to the bathroom in this yard!” He’s not, calm down!!!!! He is not even in your yard!!! “Well dogs do it all the time and your dog is no different.” Whatever lady. “I’ll take a picture and have the city come pick him up!” Go right ahead; take as many pictures as you want!!! “Don’t talk to me like that!!” You don’t talk to me like that! “That’s it I gonna go get my camera and I am coming after him!!” Ok bye! And I just walk off. Today, once again, minding my own business, sitting in car in the Wal-Mart parking lot and this lady’s shopping cart just comes barreling over and hits my car. This lady looks directly at me, walks over and rolls it away without saying a word. I jump out of my car and ask her if she saw her cart hit my car. “Yea”, she said expressionless. Were you not going to say anything? She said, “No, it wasn’t my fault, it was the winds fault,” Oh ok well you could at least apologize on the wind’s behalf! How bout I take this cart and slam it in to your car and blame it on the wind?! Would you like that??!! She just gets in her car drives off while I proceed to call her a rude bitch. I mean seriously, what is wrong with people??!! I know if I do something I am going to take responsibility for it. Like the time I am cleaning out the fridge and I have a huge bowl of pasta that we can’t seem to put a dent in. It’s an entire box of plain elbow pasta. Wood hates wasting food so in my attempt to hide the fact that I am tossing like 5 lbs. of pasta I pour in down the disposal. Well the damn thing was not built for this sorta magnitude of starch so its spinning its wheels but nothing is happening like half way through the pile. The drain clogs and there is a pile and of shredded pasta in the disposal that is not going anywhere. Crap! Brandy is heading over shortly and I promised her I would cook for her and so far I haven’t even made it to the store yet. So while Wood is outside cutting grass I figured I had time to run the store, get my food, race back, get the food going and then work on my drain problem. When I am at the store, Wood calls me to see what the heck is going on and why did I leave the sink clogged. “Did you leave to get draino?” he asks. Um no. “Well what happened?” I put some pasta down the disposal. “The whole bowl?!!” No no no, just some, I put most of it the trash. I get home and both sinks are clogged, water is leaking under the sink, the floor is wet, Wood has removed everything from under the sink and I know I in trouble. I play innocent as he dismantles the P-trap, he looks at me and I am so busted! The pipes are jam packed with shredded pasta. Damnit! I got busted fibbing and wasting food! All the while his beloved Titans are starting and I still haven’t started cooking and the kitchen is now a disaster. He got the sink unclogged; now it leaks and we need to get a new disposal. That’s what gets for lying and not taking responsibility, I may as well have slammed my grocery cart into someone’s car and blamed it on a little kid. Hopefully my karma is gonna get back on track, I am having a baby exactly 3 months from today!!!