Thursday, October 3, 2013

90 days to go!!!

Its confrontation week this week, starring yours truly! The night before last, I find myself and 2 old hags in a full blown argument one street down from mine. I am on a walk with one of the dogs and he hikes his leg on a fire hydrant. This lady comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at me, “Your dog better not be going to bathroom in my yard!” He’s not. “I just saw him.” He peed on a fire hydrant which is aloud, its public property and that’s what it’s there for! “I pay taxes on that fire hydrant!” So does everyone lady and this sidewalk we are walking on is also public property that we all pay taxes on! Then her life partner whizzes around the corner shakin her finger at me, “Don’t let that dog go to the bathroom in this yard!” He’s not, calm down!!!!! He is not even in your yard!!! “Well dogs do it all the time and your dog is no different.” Whatever lady. “I’ll take a picture and have the city come pick him up!” Go right ahead; take as many pictures as you want!!! “Don’t talk to me like that!!” You don’t talk to me like that! “That’s it I gonna go get my camera and I am coming after him!!” Ok bye! And I just walk off. Today, once again, minding my own business, sitting in car in the Wal-Mart parking lot and this lady’s shopping cart just comes barreling over and hits my car. This lady looks directly at me, walks over and rolls it away without saying a word. I jump out of my car and ask her if she saw her cart hit my car. “Yea”, she said expressionless. Were you not going to say anything? She said, “No, it wasn’t my fault, it was the winds fault,” Oh ok well you could at least apologize on the wind’s behalf! How bout I take this cart and slam it in to your car and blame it on the wind?! Would you like that??!! She just gets in her car drives off while I proceed to call her a rude bitch. I mean seriously, what is wrong with people??!! I know if I do something I am going to take responsibility for it. Like the time I am cleaning out the fridge and I have a huge bowl of pasta that we can’t seem to put a dent in. It’s an entire box of plain elbow pasta. Wood hates wasting food so in my attempt to hide the fact that I am tossing like 5 lbs. of pasta I pour in down the disposal. Well the damn thing was not built for this sorta magnitude of starch so its spinning its wheels but nothing is happening like half way through the pile. The drain clogs and there is a pile and of shredded pasta in the disposal that is not going anywhere. Crap! Brandy is heading over shortly and I promised her I would cook for her and so far I haven’t even made it to the store yet. So while Wood is outside cutting grass I figured I had time to run the store, get my food, race back, get the food going and then work on my drain problem. When I am at the store, Wood calls me to see what the heck is going on and why did I leave the sink clogged. “Did you leave to get draino?” he asks. Um no. “Well what happened?” I put some pasta down the disposal. “The whole bowl?!!” No no no, just some, I put most of it the trash. I get home and both sinks are clogged, water is leaking under the sink, the floor is wet, Wood has removed everything from under the sink and I know I in trouble. I play innocent as he dismantles the P-trap, he looks at me and I am so busted! The pipes are jam packed with shredded pasta. Damnit! I got busted fibbing and wasting food! All the while his beloved Titans are starting and I still haven’t started cooking and the kitchen is now a disaster. He got the sink unclogged; now it leaks and we need to get a new disposal. That’s what gets for lying and not taking responsibility, I may as well have slammed my grocery cart into someone’s car and blamed it on a little kid. Hopefully my karma is gonna get back on track, I am having a baby exactly 3 months from today!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment