day 125...I'm a fixer upper

Last night was a blast, hung out with 3 other girls at my office and we laughed the entire time. We went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner and exchanged out secret Santa gifts. We were the only ones in the restaurant and loud as hell. I went to the bathroom and this girl asked if I was part of the bachelorette party. She was referring to our table. Bachelorette party? Geeez how sad would that be to have your last night of being single in an empty Mexican restaurant, but it was funny that she thought we were hoopin it up enough to qualify as a bachelorette party.

I drank the kool-aid and settled comfortably in a fun little work clique, this is a newly formed alliance so we are now jockeying for position and falling into our little roles as the office whisperers (talking during office hours is frowned upon, so we whisper). My role of course is Single Stephanie from Atlanta who has become the token pet project, while they do get a kick out of my antics, enjoy my quirky ways and one-liners, the 3 girls look at me like a piece of clay that they need to mold, kinda like a cute little fixer-upper. The other girls are married and like contribute their "How to Keep a Man” and “How to not lose a guy in 10 days” advice. I took everything with a grain of salt since Rusty is my age and on her 4th marriage, Christina is my age and on her 3^rd marriage and Toni was engaged 5 times before she got married. I mean I am all for learning lessons through trial and error but 3 and 4 times?? Where to they find the time? I barely can find the time to get my oil changed much less plan a wedding every year. I will admit my ears perk up to all advice because I think taking other people’s “best practices” can trigger new light bulbs, so I am always open to listening to advice and suggestions.

The first “suggestion” I got from my new team of advisors (remember…its takes a village) is to stop wearing body spray that smells like the Xclamation perfume that we all wore when we were 12-years-old. Rusty told me to take it out of my purse and she threw it across the room for emphasis. Then the DO’s and DON’Ts segment began…. DO stand there and let the guy open all doors for you at all times, DON'T wear jeans at all times. DO where more flattering clothes (they said I dress cute but I don't flatter myself enough and I need to buy some 6-inch heels (this is not the first time I have heard this) They had a lot of good advice I think, they gave me some good tips on removing wrinkles, but I was not happy that Rusty felt the need to tell me that my neck looks like it has been hit with a Frisbee a few times. WHAT?? Are you freaking kidding me? First of all, telling me to wear more accessories is fine but don’t be bustin on my neck!  My neck, who cares about my neck? My neck is fine, and then I told her that her cars smells and then I felt better.

Ok I got to get motivated, I must start my Christmas shopping....hopefully the line won't be too long at the Dollar store.